Coffee with a Borderline 1.1

Drink?

[I hate everything I see... Everything.]

Hey,

I'm Ronin,

I don't know exactly where to begin.

Considering our current circumstances, you'll need to provide your own beverage. : )

I see now, after gaining speed into mid-thirties, that my personality is cracked... fractured of sorts.

                (How do you crack ones personality) (do you just freak out, talk to your self?)

Einstein's desk was messy, very messy, at the time of his death. Some people try to bridge the gap and make connections that only sound good on paper [or your phone, Mac, PC, tablet, & e-readers alike], but not so when given ample thought. Example, How's your desk looking right about now, huh? If your desk (work area) is neat and tidy, well then my friend, maybe you're not the natural theoretical physicist your Nanna swore you were after mastering "walking the dog" on the yo-yo. That sucks.
Maybe your desk (work area) is messy as all hell! Well damn, your a genius right?! So... this is awkward... {crickets... crickets}  What if you honestly thought you were a genius because of this, or that you were stupid in some ways. Could you alter your ways and become one or the other? Then maybe it's not the messy desk that makes you a genius, rather a genius had a messy desk situation.
My personality will apparently adopt and mimic those scenarios. In fact, I can vividly remember people telling me that they've never met someone who wants to be so many things. I wanted to be a Pro such and such, a writer, a this, a that. You get the drift. The fun part of this is seeing the hole you're in and all you can do is start climbing or hold and sink. I chose the ladder for the last three years. I went to work, cried, hid, remained present enough not to get fired, and I'm now jumping up the metaphorical hole from feeling something hit the souls of my feet.
I will be the nicest person at work and come home to hate everyone and everything. I just sit and smolder about things. It typically happens when I'm next to other people that I have to keep appearances with. That's when I typically get called an ass, when I'm forced to be around a group of people in a small space for long periods of time. I fake everything about my persona, I can only maintain it for so long before I drop the act. {To be continued...}